Source: Why Do Women Attack Each Other?
I have heard it said in Church Bible Study that, “Your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit dwells”. and “The Holy Spirit will not dwell in anything unclean”. We should ta…
…This is why you are dating to get to know each other before you allow a stranger to enter your body as a woman or if you are a man, before you put yourself inside a woman. You don’t kn…
Source: Marriage Counseling Tips 101-2
Up to the Minute with Pastor Maggie Campbell: TOPIC: Be careful what you do to get a person to marry you.
Marriage Counseling 101 – 2 Rule is::: What ever you did to get this man or woman, you will have to continue to do it to keep ’em. What does this mean? You have heard these words spoken to you before. Maybe it was your mother or father, grandparents or even a friend. Perhaps the song by a popular singer telling you not to ‘do anything kinky, until you get the ring.’ Perhaps this flew over you head and you chuckled at the sound of it. BUT, this is very good advice.
If you entered into a relationship with a person who is already married, this is wrong on so many levels and it is a sin and a shame. First of all, you are helping to bring a marriage to an end that may never have ended, had you not gotten involved with this married person. A married man is not your soul mate. He is not available to any woman, because he has a woman, even if his marriage is not going well. If a married person approaches you and attempts a relationship with you, you should run like a bat out of hell. What goes around, comes around and when it comes back around it is usually visited worse upon you then what you visited upon the spouse of the married person – that you are alienating from the affections of their spouse. You are stealing their affections in hopes that this person will divorce their spouse and marry you. How could you be so cruel, rude and disrespectful to point of being so gullible to think that this person will leave their spouse and marry you? They just want your affections and you are so naive that you are freely giving it up to someone who is not available to you or any other single person.
There are times when the married person have left their spouse and then marry the person they were cheating on their spouse with on rare occasions. But that is when the tip above comes in to play. All of the kinky things you did, the sneaking around, the sexual relations you provide at that person’s beck and call and all of the other unethical and cruel things you did to steal them away from their spouse, you have to keep doing this to keep ’em. Why? Because a cheater is always a cheater, much like the alcoholic is always a alcoholic. At some point, they will meet someone else while they are married to you and begin cheating on you. The worse part of this advice is that sometimes, the person has gotten their cheating ways out of their system, but, because they cheated with you and did things they should not have done including leaving their spouse for you; you will be tormented with the thoughts that someday they will do this to you. This will then steal your joy. But, it’s your fault.
Before you marry someone, you have to get to know them as well as possible. Never marry someone immediately after you met then in weeks. This is a huge mistake and you have no idea what to expect. Celebrities do this all the time and there marriage ends as quickly as they begin as often times they are based only sex and other wrong things like money etc… How do you do this? You begin by dating them. Not accepting a marriage proposal, but you date them only first. This means, you go to fun attractions in town, visit with each others family, go to movies and talk, talk, talk to them and meet their friends. Find out their medical history, do they have mental issues in their family or diabetes or other diseases. You need to know this, especially if you plan to have children.
Dating does not mean that you have sex with a person of whom you are not married to. Many Christians are taught to not have sex before marriage. If you are a person who wishes to go forward with sex during the dating phase, it can only be protected sex and with birth control. Otherwise you and this person is living dangerously and putting each other at risk, as you are strangers to each other. This is why you are dating to get to know each other before you allow a stranger to enter your body as a woman or if you are a man, before you put yourself inside a woman. You don’t know what’s in there. One night of pleasure can bring you a lifetime of pain and torment. Never have sex with someone of whom you are not willing to spend the rest of your life with before the sex. Because if she get’s pregnant, you are spending at least 18 years of your life with her to raise that child and/or to pay child support for the child. Condoms break and women sometimes forget to take the pill which is not 100% protection. BUT, once you begin having sex with this person, before you marry them, especially if it is kinky and alternative sex, they will expect you to continue to do this once you are married.
Ask the right questions while you are dating. Look at their driver’s license, check their age, ask about past dates, lovers, spouses and friends. If they don’t want to talk about these things while you are dating, then they will not talk about these things when you are married. Instead, it will become a fight and a thorn between your marriage, as you will feel that they are keeping secrets. Dating is the time to get the answers to all possible secrets so that you can make a true informed decision and not be tricked into marriage or feel that you are tricked. Marriage is suppose to last.
After you have been dating for a while and one of you feel that you want to take this to the next step and propose marriage, ok. Now the digging into their background gets more serious. Run a background check and learn about them. This is the same things employers do. See if they have a criminal record, bad credit, or if they have a job or a true career on the move. Do a prenup if you have money and belongings that are to be kept in your family or dealt with in a special way in the event you divorce. If during the dating and engagement phase, your partner beats you, shoves you and/or abuses you. Go ahead and accept their apology and forgive them, but do not stay in the relations. Leave immediately.
If a person hassles you or try and make you feel bad for asking these questions and looking into their background, do not take things to the next level. Walk away now. Do not go to your pastor, friends or parents for advice. Instead, seek the advisement of a licensed Marriage, Family Therapist and seek premarital counseling. This way you can open up and speak freely and keep your personal business private from your family and friends. Not all Pastors are counselors. Some like myself are trained and educated to provide these services. It is safe to discuss such matters with Pastors who have the education and licenses as a counselor and marriage family therapist. Ask the right questions. Don’t assume anything.
Another minute gone forever. How did you spend it? ~ Maggie Campbell, Pastor